{"id":670,"date":"2015-10-13T07:01:00","date_gmt":"2015-10-13T15:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.checkworks.com\/blog\/?p=670"},"modified":"2015-11-05T10:09:01","modified_gmt":"2015-11-05T18:09:01","slug":"a-parents-5-step-guide-to-keeping-kids-safe-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/a-parents-5-step-guide-to-keeping-kids-safe-online\/","title":{"rendered":"A Parent\u2019s 5-Step Guide to Keeping Kids Safe Online"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.checkworks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bigstock-Surprised-boy-with-tablet-iso-54120353.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-673 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/www.checkworks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bigstock-Surprised-boy-with-tablet-iso-54120353-1024x714.jpg\" alt=\"Surprised boy with tablet against a grey background  ** Note: Shallow depth of field\" width=\"625\" height=\"436\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bigstock-Surprised-boy-with-tablet-iso-54120353-1024x714.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bigstock-Surprised-boy-with-tablet-iso-54120353-300x209.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/bigstock-Surprised-boy-with-tablet-iso-54120353-624x435.jpg 624w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 625px) 100vw, 625px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>By MJ Plaster<\/p>\n<p>Remember when having \u201cTHE Talk\u201d meant telling kids about sex? The last time that happened was probably around the time you were a kid. Today, your child will learn more online and in school than you ever wanted to know about sex, starting as early as kindergarten. The 21st century version of \u201cTHE Talk\u201d is about how to stay safe online. It\u2019s up to parents to inform their children of the dangers and to steer them away from danger.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s no longer sufficient to move computers to common areas. Kids have phones, tablets, etc. Smart TVs are computers. Wii and other game boxes are computers. There\u2019s no escaping cyberspace now that everything in sight is a computer, so what\u2019s a parent to do to keep their children safe?<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>Step 1: Know Where the Kids Hang Out<\/strong><br \/>\nBefore you can keep children safe, you have to know where they hang out. Hint: It isn\u2019t the mall. For today\u2019s kids, it\u2019s all about online fun (videos and games); social networking; texting and video chat, which has mostly replaced face-to-face social interaction\u2014and scariest of all, the meetup\/dating sites and apps, some of which include your child\u2019s current geolocation information.<\/p>\n<p>You already know about text messages, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumbler, Pinterest, Snapchat, Skype and Vine. Here are a few more popular (and less known to adults) hangouts:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Text, audio and video chat\u2014FaceTime, ooVoo, What\u2019sApp<\/li>\n<li>Video\u2014Funny or Die (videos)<\/li>\n<li>Entertainment\u2014Fark<\/li>\n<li>Chat Rooms\u2014KidsChat.net, etc. (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nbcnewyork.com\/news\/local\/Internet-Predators-Child-Chat-Rooms-Online-Safety--153270185.html\" target=\"_blank\">NBC<\/a> suggests that parents look for chat rooms that require parental permission, use moderators, and for which you can install parental filters.)<\/li>\n<li>Gaming\u2014Addicting Games, et al.<\/li>\n<li>Burn Note\u2014Self destructing messaging<\/li>\n<li>Whisper\u2014Described as a social confessional<\/li>\n<li>Yik Yak\u2014Described as \u201cthe most authentic way for people to connect with their communities and find their herds.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Foursquare\u2014Described as \u201clearns what you like and leads you to places you\u2019ll love.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>MeetMe\u2014Described as \u201cMeet, chat, and have fun with new people.\u201d Translation: hook up with total strangers.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The sites above can turn into the digital equivalent of \u201cgetting into a car with a stranger.\u201d But not every passing car is a menace, and most sites aren\u2019t inherently bad.<\/p>\n<p>No one, including your child, is immune to the lure of this vast cyber-playground. Tweens don\u2019t have the discernment of an adult, and teens think they\u2019re invincible and immortal. Remember how invincible you were as a teen?<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.pewinternet.org\/2015\/08\/06\/chapter-1-meeting-hanging-out-and-staying-in-touch-the-role-of-digital-technology-in-teen-friendships\/\" target=\"_blank\">Pew Research<\/a> in a 2015, five-chapter report\u2014a worthwhile read\u2014reveals how prevalent online activity is among teens. A few highlights from the report:<\/p>\n<p>75 percent of teens have made friends online; 29 percent have made more than five friends online. (Who are these friends?)<\/p>\n<p>Social media and gaming are their favorite hangouts.<\/p>\n<p>Text messages dominate their everyday interactions.<\/p>\n<p>Teens still spend face-to-face time with their closest friends\u2014mostly at school and at someone\u2019s house, but texting is still their most frequent form of communication (even while with their friends\u2014go figure).<\/p>\n<p>84 percent of teen boys play video games with others; 75 percent play online with others.<\/p>\n<p>71 percent use Facebook\u2014most teens feel better connected to their friends\u2019 feelings and lives through social media.<\/p>\n<p>No, they\u2019re not doing their homework or watching TEDx talks; they\u2019re playing online most of the time.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Step 2: Learn the Danger Signs<\/strong><br \/>\nIn addition to the usual<a href=\"https:\/\/www.checkworks.com\/blog\/index.php\/phishing-for-dollars-internet-scamsters-gone-wild\/\" target=\"_blank\"> Internet scams<\/a>, the biggest worry for parents is Internet predators, who can easily become offline predators. Further, the Internet is a huge repository of illicit activity and information. A sampling of these activities includes instructions on how to grow and process drugs, make fake IDs, counterfeit money; teach hate and anarchy advocacy; buy and sell stolen merchandise; and lure people into \u201cget rich quick\u201d schemes.<\/p>\n<p>When you child exhibits behavior that is out of character, that\u2019s a big, red warning flag. It could be anything, but based on the statistics provided by Pew Research, it\u2019s a good bet that the problem originated on the Internet. Become suspicious if your child:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Becomes withdrawn from family members.<\/li>\n<li>Shields the computer screen when you approach him or her.<\/li>\n<li>Spends more than the usual amount of time online, especially at night.<\/li>\n<li>Makes or receives phone calls at night to or from numbers you don\u2019t recognize.<\/li>\n<li>Begins to receive mail or gifts from people you don\u2019t know.<\/li>\n<li>Uses someone else\u2019s online account.<\/li>\n<li>Has photos of strangers on his or her device.<\/li>\n<li>Has adult apps or pornography on his or her device.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Step 3: Have THE Talk<\/strong><br \/>\nWhen I turned 14, my mother said, \u201cYou have never given me any reason not to trust you. I will assume that I can trust you until you prove otherwise, but once I lose that trust&#8230;\u201d She didn\u2019t have to finish the sentence. Did I toe the line? Of course not. I was a master at not getting caught, but times were different and much less dangerous then. And parents were not nearly as lenient.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s way too late to start the discussion with a teen who has had unlimited access to the Internet. The earlier you start talking with children, the better. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.onguardonline.gov\/articles\/0006c-teens\" target=\"_blank\">OnGuardOnline.gov<\/a> offers practical, comprehensive information on how to talk to your child about Internet safety. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.onguardonline.gov\/articles\/pdf-0001-netcetera_0.pdf\" target=\"_blank\">Download the PDF<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Young Children<\/strong> <\/em><br \/>\nSupervise young children whenever they\u2019re on the Internet. Choose the websites they can visit, and install parental controls available through your ISP. When they get old enough to explore on their own, you can supplement the IPS controls with software controls such as <a href=\"http:\/\/www1.k9webprotection.com\/aboutk9\/protect-my-children\" target=\"_blank\">K9 Web Protection<\/a> (free) or<a href=\"http:\/\/parental-software-review.toptenreviews.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"> commercial software monitoring and protection.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>As your child gets older, you\u2019ll want to initiate conversations about appropriate behavior, contact and content. Opportunities abound for discussions\u2014movies and TV shows, newspaper articles, etc., provide natural segues into these conversations. Inform them about Internet scams, cyberbullying and what information they should keep private. For example, the time to post vacation photos is after you return home, not while you\u2019re away, alerting the world to an empty home. As you communicate everyday values, show them how those values apply online. It\u2019s more natural if it\u2019s an ongoing, seemingly spontaneous conversation.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Tweens<\/strong><\/em><br \/>\nCyber independence mirrors \u201creal life\u201d independence. As children gain independence, set limits for Internet exploration just as you do for TV viewing or staying out at night. Help your child select apps that don\u2019t broadcast location, and help him or her set preferences\u2014tightly controlled preferences. These apps are stalking people\u2019s every move. Tech-savvy children know how to get around some parental controls. That\u2019s one of the reasons keeping the lines of communication open is important.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Teens<\/strong><\/em><br \/>\nAs teenagers approach adulthood and become more independent, they develop their own values and\/or adopt the values of their friends. By now, you\u2019ve done most of the talking that will sink in unless it\u2019s tied to current events. They need to understand <a href=\"http:\/\/nypost.com\/2015\/10\/10\/yes-facebook-is-stalking-you-thats-the-price-of-free-social-media\/\" target=\"_blank\">that Facebook and other social media are tracking their every move<\/a>, and potential college admissions personnel and future potential employers will Google them\u2014at a bare minimum.<\/p>\n<p>If their online social profile isn\u2019t squeaky clean, cancel the old accounts. After a month or so, most everything will drop off the search engines. The \u201cWayback Machine\u201d at<a href=\"http:\/\/nypost.com\/2015\/10\/10\/yes-facebook-is-stalking-you-thats-the-price-of-free-social-media\/\" target=\"_blank\"> archive.org<\/a> is another matter, one over which you have no control.<a href=\"https:\/\/support.google.com\/websearch\/troubleshooter\/3111061?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\"> Contact Google<\/a>, and ask them to remove any unflattering photos or private information from their search results.<\/p>\n<p>After a month, encourage them to start new social media accounts, and keep the new ones clean. Explain that every move a person makes is monitored by everyone, including the government. If that doesn\u2019t scare them straight, nothing will because a person\u2019s online presence can make or break their future. Keep driving this fact home.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Step 4: Secure Devices<\/strong><br \/>\nStart by reading <a href=\"https:\/\/www.checkworks.com\/blog\/index.php\/the-first-thing-we-do-lets-kill-all-the-hackers\/\" target=\"_blank\">The First Thing We Do, Let\u2019s Kill All the Hackers<\/a>, and lock down all devices as suggested in the article. Since I began using a virtual private network, I have not had one virus attack, and the only malware to hit my devices has been through programs or apps that I installed (and promptly uninstalled). There are apps similar to those listed in the article for every device.<\/p>\n<p>Lock down their smartphones and other mobile devices even if you have to get them to show you how to do it. They probably know how to lock down devices better than you do, and you\u2019ll want their help in securing your devices. If you do it together, at least you know they\u2019re locked down. Password everything.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Step 5: To Monitor and Track (or Not)<\/strong><br \/>\nI know two sets of parents who monitored and tracked their teens\u2019 every move. I\u2019m talking \u201cI Spy\u201d monitoring that would make the KGB jealous. In each case, their children were constantly in trouble! I know other parents who have taken a hands-off, \u201cwe trust our children\u201d approach, and their children turned into mature adults. Is this indicative? No. It\u2019s only an observation. What\u2019s the answer? I don\u2019t know. All I can do is provide the facts because each child is unique.<\/p>\n<p>You do your best as a parent to explain the dangers, but at some point, you have to let go.<\/p>\n<p>If you have survived life on the Internet with your child, we would love to hear your experiences. With the means and modes of online interacting changing daily, it\u2019s difficult to keep up on safety techniques. The more we share such information, the safer it is as we help children navigate a safe Internet.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By MJ Plaster Remember when having \u201cTHE Talk\u201d meant telling kids about sex? The last time that happened was probably around the time you were a kid. Today, your child will learn more online and in school than you ever wanted to know about sex, starting as early as kindergarten. The 21st century version of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/670"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=670"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/670\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":744,"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/670\/revisions\/744"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.checkworks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}